|Posted by Josh Griffiths on August 24, 2014 at 5:35 AM|
I have succesfully eluded classrooms for two years. They're wretched things, aren't they? Always smelling of pencil shavings and snot. Unfortunately for me, that streak comes to an end tomorrow at 8am. I’m not looking forward to it, I’m not interested in the pressure, especially not with Do We Not Bleed so close to completion and my Youtube efforts growing. But alas, I’m two semesters away from graduating so I can’t quit now.
Up until now I’ve been able to take online classes exclusively, with a few exceptions. But from this point on, all my classes must be taken at the college until I graduate, the exception for one class. The first such class is Biology, which was split into two classes (thus forcing me to pay twice) a lab and a lecture.
Of course the lecture would come fir- oh wait no, the lab is first because my college is run by idiots. What’s worse is that we’re going to be partnered up, and I know now because I’m going to be stuck with some moron who doesn’t want to do anything.
On top of that I just found out yesterday I’m now on academic warning, because my grades were so low from the previous semester. Last semester was my first time taking classes in a year due to a mistake on the part of the college, a problem exacerbated when I had to take Psychology 101 again, the only class I have ever failed in my life. I ended up with D, and due to work on Do We Not Bleed I got a C in English Literature II. I got an A in English Literature I.
Clearly college isn’t too important to me so you might be wondering why I even bother. Truth is I’ve been asking myself that rather consistently, more so after the screw up that left me on the outside looking in for a year. I’ve never considered college to be very important, after I graduated high school I spent a year working two dead end jobs and dabbling in video game “journalism”. Maybe it was those lackluster experiences which drove me to college.
Writing was something I was always good at, but I didn’t consider trying to make a living from it until my senior year. I knew I had a long way to go, I still do, and I figured the best place to learn was college. So with a healthy donation from my parents (thank you) I signed up for some classes. The first few years I focused on classes that would benefit my writing. English Literature, Journalism, Fiction Writing, Screenwriting and so on. I took a few other things like Computer Tech and Public Speaking, stuff that would go towards my degree but I never took any of those classes seriously because that wasn’t what I was there.
Of course, loading all your important classes to the front of your schedule causes its own problems. I’ve already taken all the English and writing classes that’ll count to my degree, so all I have left are two math classes, two science classes, and two electives.
I entered college with the idea of taking writing classes and dropping out when I felt I learned all I could. But in taking the occasional Computer or Psychology class I managed to stumble and fumble my way close to a degree. I realized my graduation would be a year away and I’d be the first in my family to put on the cap and gown. How could I pass this up?
At least, that’s what I thought when I signed up for classes back in May. Now with my another semester over, an academic warning standing behind me breathing in my ear, and ten months of classes still to complete I’m beginning to question my motives.
I realize this blog is a rambling mess, and even a little confusing, but I’m having trouble thinking straight right now. That’s why I wrote this mess knowing no one in their right mind would read it.
I’m confused as to what to do, and my future is very much in doubt. It’s too bad American high schools don’t teach you how to be an adult, how to plan your future. As far as I can remember it was nothing more than “you better hurry and decide what you want to do for the rest of your life RIGHT NOW AND GO TO COLLEGE OR YOU’LL BE DUMB FOREVER!”
I wonder how I went from a 15 year old kid (or was it 14?) first entering high school to a 22 year old worrying about who I’ll be paired with in Biology 101. Is this really what I want to do with my life? Of course not, but more importantly is this going to lead me to where I want to go? Honestly, I’m not seeing it right now. I’m lost and confused and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. You know, just the normal young adult stuff.